Show Notes
How can the intense pressure of youth sports be transformed from a source of performance anxiety into a powerful tool for character and spiritual formation?
Tim Hardy, Athletic Director and Head Football Coach of Greater Atlanta Christian School, joins the Nuance podcast with host Case Thorp to discuss how the athletic field serves as a real-time classroom for young men and women learning to handle pressure, authority, failure, and success. They explore how coaches and parents can shift their focus from purely transactional winning to transformational character building, ensuring young athletes are shaped by their faith rather than consumed by the scoreboard.
Whether you are a coach molding the next generation, a parent navigating the demanding world of youth sports, or simply someone who loves the Friday night lights, this conversation offers profound wisdom on using competition to build resilient, selfless, and faithful young leaders.
Episode Resources:
Greater Atlanta Christian School Athletics: https://www.greateratlantachristian.org/athletics/athletics-at-gac
Tim Elmore: https://www.timelmore.com/
Nuance is a podcast of The Collaborative where we wrestle together about living our Christian faith in the public square. Nuance invites Christians to pursue the cultural and economic renewal by living out faith through work every facet of public life, including work, political engagement, the arts, philanthropy, and more.
Each episode, Dr. Case Thorp hosts conversations with Christian thinkers and leaders at the forefront of some of today’s most pressing issues around living a public faith.
Visit wecolabor.com for resources, events, and more.
Episode Transcript
Case Thorp
On a Friday night in the Fall, entire towns rearrange themselves around a field. Lights come on, lines are painted, parents scan the sideline, students fill the stands, and for a few hours, attention gathers around young men who are learning, in real time, how to carry pressure, authority, failure, success, and one another. Football is more than a game, it’s a liturgy. Week after week, it rehearses stories about discipline and desire, sacrifice and glory, belonging and identity. Long before a teenager can articulate a worldview, his body is being trained into one. Well, friends, today’s conversation is about football, but it’s really about formation. And I am thrilled to have a longtime friend here, Tim Hardy, Athletic Director and Head Football Coach at Greater Atlanta Christian School. Tim, welcome.
Tim Hardy
Thanks so much, Case. I’m excited to be here and man, just your opening piece got me excited for a Friday night in the Fall. Let’s go.
Case Thorp
Well, so I was honored to officiate Tim’s wedding. Was that 18 years ago?
Tim Hardy
25 and a half. So we married in 2000.
Case Thorp
Okay, so you married before we did. That’s right, wow, okay. Well, and so Tim and I have been sort of family friends, because his in-laws were my godparents, or still are, and I grew up with his wife, and so, dear folks, now we connected a few weeks back when University of North Carolina played University of Central Florida, and Tim’s son Will has just completed an incredible few years on the UNC team. So I know you’re proud of him.
Tim Hardy
It was great. Yeah, it was fun to fun to be together that day and drink about $100 worth of Dasani water in the bounce house. But it was but it was a fun experience. It turned out better for the Knights than for the Tar Heels that day, but still enjoy being together. Enjoy watching competition.
Case Thorp
Yeah, it was a little warm, wasn’t it?
Well, and Tim’s other son played at University of Richmond and they have a beautiful daughter at the University of Georgia. Is she a junior?
Tim Hardy
She’s a sophomore. Yep. Second year, thriving there.
Case Thorp
Sophomore, okay. Well, like I said, Tim is Athletic Director and Head Football Coach at Greater Atlanta Christian School. He has a Bachelor of Arts from Wheaton College and a Master of Science in Managerial Leadership from National Louis University and an Educational Specialist degree from Valdosta State. In previous lives, he played football at Wheaton College and then coached there for 10 years and served for a while as the head coach at Mountain View High School before coming to Greater Atlantic Christian. He and his family attend 12Stone Church. And like I said, he has been married to Lindsay and they have three beautiful children. So Tim, let’s just start with your story.
Tell us how the Lord became real in your life, but also how football has been such a central component and shaped you.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, no doubt. Well, I was blessed to grow up in a great house. Both my parents deeply faithful believers and so in terms of foundations of faith certainly came within the family and so their mentorship and discipleship really grew. I’m the middle of three brothers, my older brother who’s a pastor in Charlotte. Brother, yeah, and so actually just growing through my own personal faith journey. My older brother who went to the University of North Carolina and then became involved with Campus Crusade for Christ, or Cru, was instrumental in my faith growth, sort of becoming my own as I transitioned to later in high school. And then for me, as that’s going on, just three boys, always playing something, right? So always playing sports, ball, whatever it may be. And football just became something that I personally fell in love with and was a great experience for me. I had a good high school experience, but then I really had a transformative college football experience. I got to go to Wheaton College, an incredible institution. Just a fantastic football program. And so the head coach there and Mike Swider and some of the assistants were just so formative in my growth as a player, but also as a person, but also really seeing what an activity like football in this instance can be when used as a tool for your own individual growth and the growth of others. And so when I went to college, if you had asked me to rank things I was interested in rather than doing for a job. I don’t think coaching would have been anywhere in the top 100, but it’s really seeing the effect that these men had in both my life and the lives of my peers as I was graduating. Man, this is something I have some interest in. I want to pursue this and the Lord opened some doors and here we are.
Case Thorp
Now, weren’t you the quarterback at Wheaton?
Tim Hardy
I was, yes, I played quarterback.
Case Thorp
Okay, well I brag all the time, I knew the quarterback at Wheaton College and I think that’s awesome. But then tell us, I mean you stayed to coach, how did that happen?
Tim Hardy
I did. Yeah, so actually I remember a formative conversation. So I was I was a business major and I was looking at business opportunities and also had this sort of coaching itch and actually was visiting with our head coach Mike Swider at the time. And I said, man, coach, I feel drawn to coaching, but I’ve got a business degree. I feel like this has been a waste and he goes, Tim, I got a question for you. He goes, are you in open rebellion of the Lord? I’m like…
Case Thorp
Well, that’s a little heavy.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, took it the same way, right? And I was like, no. And he goes, well, how long have you felt this, this urge? And I got for a couple of months. He’s like, the Lord’s speaking to you through these things. So it was a little bit of a, you know, a loop question when you go back to it. And so it just felt like, okay, I’m going to do that. And so a couple of different job turns, but ended up actually that first year at a school in Kentucky, Center College in Kentucky and was part-time receivers coach there. Case, I think you missed it because I got paid a thousand dollars to do that.
Case Thorp
It didn’t make your resume.
Tim Hardy
It didn’t make it, but then quickly I was able to go back to Wheaton and coach and so some just sort of got into it and got going and fell in love with it and coaching is not playing. It’s a different thing, but it’s close to it and really enjoyed growing in the profession since then.
Case Thorp
Well now, you have written that at Greater Atlanta Christian, coaches are expected to use competition as an avenue for investing in students’ spiritual lives and personal character. Give us a sense of Greater Atlanta Christian and then how this statement of yours is lived out.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, no doubt. Greater Atlanta Christian is 56 years old. So, a private non-denominational Christian school here in the northeast side of Atlanta, so just outside of the 285 loop.
We’re high school, we’re a K-12 campus, but we’re about 1700 students in that K-12. So the high school was about 650 to 700 sort of in a given year. And just a dynamic place that’s really bent on using the opportunities here to grow people’s hearts and minds. And so obviously we wanna use what happens in the context of the school day and what happens in a chemistry class or a history class, but also what happens after three o’clock, whether it’s on a football field or in the orchestra or whatever that may be. So to me, I really think this, Case, I don’t believe that athletics teaches you anything.
I think athletics is sort of a neutral medium, just like, you know, is social media good or is it bad? Right? We can have those things, but I think it’s a neutral medium. But I think what it does is it really does have the opportunity to be almost a microcosm of life, take some things and just accelerate them in short bursts, that it creates the opportunity for great learning and growth and development. And so that opportunity then is, if placed in the hands of the right mentor or the right coach, is an incredibly powerful tool.
Again, what athletics can teach you is: I like winning more than I like losing. It’s more fun to be on one side than the other. But really, the things that happen in that are amazing. And so our coaches here have the incredible privilege and responsibility to come alongside our student athletes in some of their very best moments, in some of the highs of highs and starting the game-winning touchdown or basket or knocking in the game-winning run on the baseball field, like dreams coming true.
We also have the tremendous privilege and responsibility to be right next to them in some of their lowest moments. I give up the game-winning touchdown, or I miss the game-winning shot, or give up the game-winning goal on the soccer field. So how those moments are handled, as well as all those in between, is incredibly formative. And so what it is to take that opportunity and do that. I sort of joke around campus. We’re a seven-period day school. This is the eighth period of the day.
All right, so it is actually at our school specifically our school leadership calls what happens after the traditional school day as co-curricular rather than just extra because if it’s extra you get rid of it, right, but it really is working in that and I say the advantage we have in the eighth period is they love it you know no diss to the chemistry teachers out there about how many students are going home and dreaming of chemistry, right?
But I know a lot of my football players on Monday nights in the Fall are turning on ESPN to watch Monday night football, right? Because they’re enamored by it. But what that does is that puts even more responsibility on the coach and says sort of this carrot here, this carrot of competition of my sport that I’m interested in is shame on us if we only use that, right, to get better at the sport. But man, that focus and that pursuit of excellence needs to be used to bring other things and certainly spiritual growth, but man, character, quality of discipline, of selflessness, of humility, of perseverance. So that really is what drives us and what we do through athletics.
Case Thorp
Okay, so take us to a Fall afternoon, it’s eighth period at Great Atlanta Christian, you’re on the field with the guys. What are the very specific ways that then you bring in this perspective and this kind of character formation?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, I think it’s like anything if we think of the people who have helped form us, right? Number one, how have they done that? And yes, sometimes that’s in large corporate groups, but so much of that is driven off of relationship. So if we sat down and wrote about who are the five most influential people in my life over a period of time, it’s someone that I have a relationship with. And so the first thing in the context of our programs is we want our coaches to do a great job of both building relationship, but also fostering an environment where relationship can be built in multiple directions. Again, obviously there’s the right relationship in that and what does that look like and those kind of things, but I think that really matters. Again, going back to Coach Swider at Wheaton College, something he always said, I don’t know if it was original or not, which is good, is rules without a relationship equals rebellion, right? And so if it’s something here where I don’t know you and I just put a demand on you, like, wait, what in the world, what are we doing here? Yet rules with a relationship equals response.
Case Thorp
That’s great.
Tim Hardy
And so in that, it’s this process of building relationship and saying, hey, how can we have relationship? And so when it’s time to put rules or demands on you, there’s gonna be a response. Case, I liken it to this, is the picture of a bank account, right? And so if you want a healthy bank account, you need to make a lot of deposits and you need to be wise with your withdrawals.
Right? So to me, anytime there’s an interaction that I’m making deposits with a kid, touching base with them, patting them on the back, virtually every day I stand at the front of our field house and hold the door open, guys are coming in and giving fist bumps and a smile and this and, you know, laughing about the joke from yesterday and whatever it is, just constantly finding ways to make deposits. And then as a coach, you do need to make demands, right? But to be wise with that and what that looks like and so that your withdrawals are the appropriate amount. And it’s not just a reaction in that as it goes from there. And so to me, that’s sort of the basis of it is, we’re in concert with them. And so much of what you’re trying to do is you’re trying to live life, right? And so the things that happen and what that looks like really matters. For us, there’s some formalized, there’s some rhythms that you build in. So I think a little bit like team life might have some parallels maybe to church life, okay? And so for us, some rhythms and routines, we’re gonna finish every practice with prayer. And so I’m going to call on a different player to pray for us. And sometimes it’s pretty routine, right? Sometimes there’s something that’s going on. Our athletic trainer, not missing a beat at work, has been going through cancer treatment. There’s been a regular update about Chad our athletic trainer and here’s what’s going on with that. There may be something going on with someone’s family that I’ll sort of share and then he’ll pray for that. Just the routine that we’re building in is, hey, when we come out here on whether it’s a 95 degree day in August or 45 degree day in November, and we’re always going to stop and say, Lord, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you for this team. Thank you for the people around. Let’s do that. So that rhythm and routine of that. And then we do have a formalized we take some time each week where it’s a little bit more direct on what’s teaching, if you make sense, on a corporate setting in terms we call it, we’re the Spartans at GAC, so we call it Spartan for life. And that’s got a dual meaning, it’s one year, you know, sort of a member of our fraternity forever, right, so we’re poor. But more than that, we’re trying to pour into you for life, and so we’re taking things that are happening in the context of our team and applying spiritual principles and things are there in a more almost classroom-type setting.
Case Thorp
I love this. Now I can imagine somebody maybe listening and go, well, you you’re at a Christian school. That’s easy to do. Talk to me about some of your peers in the industry, if you will, who are at public schools or non-Christian schools. How many other coaches take this perspective as opposed to don’t?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, that’s a great question. I have no data, hardcore data. But I have good friends who are dynamic believers at public schools. Before I came to Greater Atlanta Christian, I was at a large public school here in Metro Atlanta. And when I came over here, somebody said, how does your approach changed? And I said, honestly, it changed as much as you think. Obviously, we’d have a formal kind of thing, and I’m putting scripture on the board every Wednesday or whatever. That could be a little bit different, but we’re talking about some of these same principles.
We’d finish every Friday night with prayer at the end, okay? And say, hey, if we get the season, hey guys, we’re gonna pray at end every practice and every game.
Case Thorp
Yeah, and I love those videos because your wife will put those on Facebook and it just warms my heart to see that.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, and so we did at the public school as well. Again, depending the district you’re in, the things that are there, but you can live out faith principles. You may not always have to link those things up. I do think this, I do think there are a lot more coaches that see athletics as a venue and a means to develop young people than just a tool that’s more transformational than just transactional. And I’ve seen that grow. I’ve seen that language grow across different groups. And I think that’s a real positive trend.
Case Thorp
Now, Tim, mean, I can imagine, I mean, I know you have to deal with parents. You know, it’s the whole package of a family. And do you have any examples of where maybe a parent was not so excited about your approach and wanted to push you in the direction of, I don’t know, being more of a hard-ass or focus on the winning, not the people?
Tim Hardy
Well, I think one sense when you sign up to come here, you signed up to come here, right? And so we’re blatantly clear on who we are, what we’re doing. Second of all, we’re really successful in the field. And so we’re not giving up one to get the other, right? So what I didn’t say is, hey, we take all of Wednesday for a character lesson and we skip practice. No, we take 15, 20 minutes in a classroom. We’re purposeful of that. And then we’re going out and doing the things that we’re doing. I actually think we’ll work hand in hand beautifully as we come from there. Sometimes people will say, you know, will think like, maybe when a coach is being hard on somebody that it’s always demeaning. And if they’re being more calm then they’re not. And actually I would say the opposite. If you came and watched a game, you’d see the vein come out of the neck a few times. You’d see some passion, some energy. There’s also, and again, you mentioned my wife, Lindsay, who’s a tremendous mother, wonderful wife and a great partner in all of this. And also like good wives are a good check, right, in different things. And there was a game a year or two ago and after the game, she’s like, Hey, I saw you lean into that kid pretty good, you know, what was going on? And I said, Babe, I would read that what I said to him over the loudspeaker. Like, I would notate over the Jumbotron everything that I said to him. Was it with intensity? Yes, it was. I wasn’t demeaning him as a person, right? I was developing him, but it was a high leverage moment and he made a behavioral choice that he knew was wrong and that was selfish and that hurt our team. And so he needed to recognize and see that. And that’s one of the principles too. I’m not trying to turn this into a coaching discussion, but a little bit this is as a coach, what you don’t want to do, you don’t want people afraid to make physical errors, right? The greatest plays are made on playgrounds, right? You’ll make diving catches and trick shots and whatnot because there’s no fear of failure. The worst behavior is made on playgrounds, right? Because there’s no discipline. Exactly right. And so then what you don’t want to do as a coach, you want to keep the freedom for people to adventure and you’re not going to make you know you’re not going to ever make a diving tackle if at some point you don’t miss a diving tackle, right, you’ve got to be willing to do those things.
But what I do want you to be afraid of is I do want you to be afraid of being lazy, of being insubordinate to a coach, those kind of things. So then when we make some behavioral choices like that, then those are met with more intensity, if that makes sense. Whereas the other thing, hey man, you made a great dive. Ultimately, if you miss a lot of tackles, we need to play somebody else, right? That’s sort of how that plays out. But I think people buy into that. And what they get excited about, what I get excited about is to see the growth in young people, right?
And so for us, that’s what gets me excited, is when a young man or a young woman in one of our programs can’t do something on Monday and they can do it on Tuesday. And that happens all the time. And sometimes the physical is easy to see, right? But the mental, the emotional, the social, learning to be a great teammate and care about the people around me, those are some real things that have to be addressed for that to happen, but there’s great opportunity for it.
Case Thorp
Now, having done this for two decades, you’ve seen a lot of kids come through. And I’m curious if any differences between the kids from the beginning of your career to now, and maybe different ways they need to be formed because of our times?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, great question. I do think, and it’s a little bit of a generic answer, but I think it’s true. I think there was a time probably at the beginning of my coaching career, which wasn’t long after I was playing, that if authority said to do it, you sort of did it and you didn’t ask questions. Now there’s sort of more of a flavor of why, right? And why are we doing this? Why are we doing that? Well, at times there’s, you know, there’s moments to have a why discussion. There’s moments that we just need to do what we need to do in a quick manner. And so I think the best coaches find ways to basically share the why, maybe even on the front end. Okay? So literally it was in the weight room last week with our guys and we were adjusting something and just sort of, you know, hey, in critical moments when fatigue is going to set in, your mind gives up and you’re going to need to train.
So here’s what we’re doing at the end of the workout. We’re gonna hold a plank for two minutes. So you need to quiet your mind and put yourself where you need to be so when those other moments come in the future, you understand how to quiet your mind and just focus on the task at hand. So taking that approach rather than saying hey, man, we’re doing this, go do it. It’s like, oka, so it’s a little more buy-in and so as we’re doing it in a room of 40 sweaty guys guys start yelling back and forth in a great way, it’s like this for the fourth quarter and we need this, I mean like a movie but just like wait a second. We’re seeing if I can buy into the why, I’ve got more of them, that makes sense, right? So I think that is a little bit different. The other thing too, I’ve heard it said, I don’t know if you’ve read much of Tim Elmore, if you’re familiar with him as a writer, a fantastic believer, and really is an expert in the space of quote, the next generation. So as always, he and his group is sort of, you know, youth, what’s coming up and just writes it from an adult perspective, what that looks like. And one of his quotes is this generation has more information than any generation that’s ever had and less was because I mean at a second’s notice they can get any answer on their phone or device, but how to process that, what does that look like? So even for us in recognizing, okay, these guys can tell you here’s what happened in the game last night, this, that, or whatever, but the opportunity to come alongside and say, all right, let’s figure out what’s the right decision here, what made some sense, whether it’s tactical and you’re breaking down a sport and sort of think next level, but I think wanting to do that. I will say what I have noticed about, you know, kids these days, more of this generation is genuine relationships and authenticity really, really go a long way. So I do think that’s that’s a piece where it’s, it’s always worse when the choice is one more double down on relationship one more time and ask questions and get to know. I think that’s an effective strategy and obviously a Christ-like way to treat young people.
Case Thorp
Well, I can relate in the way in which how to be a good leader of staff. And even as a parent, I’ve started trying to start with the why and then getting to the application, whereas often I would flip it if I ever got to the why. And it does matter. So I’ll put in the show notes information about Tim Elmore and any books you might recommend. Are there some virtues that are harder to instill in young athletes than others? Are there some that come much easier?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, great question. I think for all of us. Selflessness vs. selfishness is right and I think that’s where team sports provide just a tremendous opportunity for that. And sort of this opportunity to buy into something bigger than yourself, right? And so to learn to train that muscle that it’s not just about me, it’s about us. I sort of was sharing this Fall with our team and just sort of had a talk about how to be a follower of Christ as a young man and treating females. Okay, so we had some real conversation, which was good, right? But one of the things I said on that is one day you’ve tricked some girl into marrying you, some of these guys it’s going to take a trick. I’m joking, good joke. But in that is like it changes when you’re 24 and you’re single, it literally is, what do I want to do today? Right? What do I want to eat for lunch? Where do I want to go? And all of you get married and that, that me becomes we. And if it doesn’t, it’s not going to work. And so to learn that muscle a little bit of no, no, this isn’t about what’s just best for you. It’s about what’s best for us. And so I think that’s cross-sports. That could be a basketball team that a guy averages 20 points a game. And just that given night, there weren’t as many shots and he scored 12. So the team won. Is he going to hang his head and, you know, drag across or is he going to be excited for his teammates? Right?
You know, it’s a night in football where it’s bad rain. We like to throw the ball. It’s a tough night to throw it and we’re going to run a little bit more. And so are the quarterback and receivers pouty or are we excited that we got to block and another guy scored a touchdown? And so I think the more we can create those kinds of things, it’s really good. And it’s against our wiring, right? It’s against all the wiring. The best example I’ve heard is if you’re in a group and someone took a group shot and then someone emailed or texted the picture out, who’s the first person you’re looking at in the group?
Case Thorp
Yourself.
Tim Hardy
And so this is the way we’re wired. So we’re sort of working against that. But to me, is to call out those great moments of selflessness, right? And what that looks like. One of the things we do, we play on Friday nights. So every Monday, we recognize something we call elite efforts. So it’s not doing your job or doing it well. It’s like, is like another level, right? This is extra stuff, right? And again, it can be just an incredible play, a guy with a ball makes or whatever it is. But almost every time, it’s somebody going up, taking on an additional blocker, it’s sacrificing for themselves, it’s a receiver sprinting across the field to try to make a block even though it’s not that he does. But these acts of selflessness and so the more you call those things out, right, they start to come up and get that you water them, they start to grow.
Case Thorp
Well, little confession here. I’m clearly not an athlete, but I played a bunch of things growing up. I always, with football, and I still think this today, I wouldn’t want to be a lineman because they don’t get to score the points. I want to be the guy who gets the big fame and the points. Even your son, UNC, he was a defensive running back. Is that the right position?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, safety.
Case Thorp
You know, if he got an interception, which he did a few times, he could run it, but he wasn’t the guy normally going into the end zone, and you gotta be about the team rather than yourself.
Tim Hardy
Right. That’s in the bowl is when that’s one of the things that’s unique about football. I mean, literally you think on the offensive side of the ball, there’s 11 players. Five of them are not allowed, per rule, because where they line up and their numbers to touch the ball. So the offensive lineman in a given play are not allowed to touch the ball. So yeah, so part of it is you turn around and said, guys, this is the equivalent of you have a basketball team and you’ve got two people that all they can do is set and box out. Can’t even get the rebound. Can’t even get the rebound.
Case Thorp
Now, I didn’t know that.
Wow. Now is that the same for college? It is. Wow.
Tim Hardy
Just have to box out and do work. Yeah, it is college and pros. So interior linemen aren’t eligible receivers, aren’t allowed to touch the ball. And so in that, just that nature of that position is a servant position, right? And so it’s me sort of pouring in and doing that when I’m part of that. But those are difficult behaviors to teach, but I think you’ve got to be purposeful in the way that we do that and what that looks like. One of the sort of deals in our program is we talk about sort of as you get older, you get the privilege to serve.
Okay. And so, and sort of the idea of leaders eat last, you know, the highest level of leadership is servant, you know. So for me, one of my favorite things is if we have an away game, we’ll get home, you know, late at night and we have a, you know, equipment truck that will back up to the field house and we’re unloading our equipment is to see the older players almost fighting to get to the back of that truck to help unload the stuff. Right. It’s not, the freshmen unloaded and the seniors sit back and watch. It’s like, no, no, no, no, no. We’ve got the coaches and the older players that get to do those things. So trying to build that into DNA where that’s what it’s about. I mean, you know, listeners know that as a father, like that’s it, right? As a mother, that’s it, right? You’re really serving is what you’re doing. And so the opportunity to train those muscles is important.
Case Thorp
I imagine even as a staff leader, athletic director, you’ve had some coaches that just didn’t quite get this, that needed some help to adopt this perspective. Can you tell us about a situation there?
Tim Hardy
Yes, is the answer to that. Yeah, of course, you know, all of us in leadership positions as we’re working with other people and sort of adapt to that and what that looks like. I will think this and I think maybe this could be relevant to your audience. I think one thing that can happen in athletics is you can have really dynamic believers who then are also, you know, sports people, but maybe they haven’t melded the two before. OK, and so the difference between being a, let’s say a coach who’s a Christian and a Christian coach…and so that idea of truly having a biblical worldview and the things that I do, one of the ways I’ve always understood worldview is it’s almost like putting on sunglasses, right? You put on sunglasses with an orange tint, everything you look at it, it’s there. But some like they grew up in a different way. We had a coach a number of years back who’s an unbelievable person, deeply, deeply committed believer. His sport background was separated from his faith. Just that’s where he grew up. He didn’t have a faith-based coach in high school and college and whatnot.
He stepped onto the field, he was a different human and not in a good way. And so he wasn’t, you know, abusive to the kids or anything like that. But there was no buildup. There was no encouragement. There was no sort of faith out in that. There really was a hard line between faith in sport and not out of belief. Just went out of practice. I had a younger coach on my staff a number of years back who had come from a similar background. Now, he worked with me directly every day. And so it was awesome to see that process sort of change in him. And so those walls come down again, deeply committed believer, but it’s like when we’re football, this is how we act. And when we’re in faith, this is how we act. Well, for a Christian, right, for a Christian, it should infuse in everything that we do. And so there’s some work with our coaches to do that and help them play out.
Part of what I said earlier is how can we build in some of these regular rhythms that where our program, whether it’s praying before or after practice or sometimes we’re calling these things out. What are some practices we can have for good sportsmanship for other teams that hold us to a standard and that can help those coaches sort of live that out and play that out for us.
Case Thorp
You ever get into a fight with another kid?
Tim Hardy
I mean, are you talking on my staff? You talking about me?
Case Thorp
No, no, the opposing team’s coach. You ever gone to blows?
Tim Hardy
I have a couple tense moments where people thought we were running up the score or this or whatever. I’ve always tried to do a pretty good job at the end of the game. There’s some, I mean, yeah, there’s some debate out there as the smartest thing we should do after a highly contested contest is take both teams and coaching stats and come together and touch each other right in the post game. But all those are one-offs and whatnot. People are pretty professional most of the time.
Case Thorp
Well, a lot of people know of my three children. My youngest is quite an athlete, scratch athlete, anything he does. And lacrosse is where he’s doubled down. Well, we had a lacrosse game once where a dad on our side is screaming at the other coach on the other side of field. I mean, it was just embarrassing. It was sad, really. And then the dad started coming across the field and everybody yelled at him to come back. Well, finally the opposing coach quit and resigned the game and told his boys, come on, we’re going, we’re done. It was, you know, I’m laughing, but it is so sad the way things have become. Even at my child’s public school, Charles played lacrosse and ran cross country. They now have to have an announcement before the game, a little statement that is read for all Orange County school games that behavior must be acceptable in any routing. Don’t yell at the… And I’m like, man, that’s so sad that we have to do that today.
Tim Hardy
I do think this, I think on the the parent side of things, which being a sports parent is awesome and awful at the same time. It’s a really unique spot. One of the few areas of your life that you have no control. Like, so if you’re there watching, watching your son play a lacrosse game in those moments, you cannot control anything. And it’s hard, and that’s your blood. And so if something gets physical, or if you feel like he’s being treated unfairly or whatever it is, it brings up feelings deep inside. So if we’re not purposeful to, to have a plan for what that’s going to be and see how we play these things out. And so you do see these outlier pieces, people sort of behaving poorly, but also as a parent, what incredible opportunity, right, to take and to shape and to do this. And I think that’s one of the things that we try to do, within the context of our program and even talking with our parents, is to work against some of the societal norms that are there in and around sport and say, can those be redeemed in productive ways? And there’s a lot of layers to that, right? I do think the advent of social media is specifically sharp in males in the athletic space. And so much of it is if I’m trying to make you to be a recruited athlete, which I do need to use some social media to do that. It’s about me posting a highlight or who’s following this or whatever else it is. And so very quickly, our self-worth can be determined on performance.
Case Thorp
Clicks, likes.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, yeah, it can be actually the performance and the clicks are the performance. And so one the things that we always double down on again is you’re created on purpose by the Lord and for a purpose by the Lord. So remember that and remember that football or baseball or lacrosse, it’s something you do, it’s not who you are. And it’s a distinction in that, but it’s a powerful one. And so really trying to double down on where your identity comes from and what that looks like. It’s critical for the coach, but equal, if not more important for the parent, right? And so when you step away and do that, one of the things in terms of formation, I think with parents is after a competition, it’s so easy for parents to immediately turn into coach, right? And those kind of there’s nothing wrong with parents coaching their kids. But after a competition, I mean, are we making our best decisions emotionally?
As an actual coach, one of the things I’m always short in is post game. So we win the game, I don’t have a whole lot to say. We lose the game, a whole lot to say.
Case Thorp
Well, I love your post game speeches that Lindsay posts.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, Lindsay capture stuff but relatively short because what you don’t have is you don’t have time and perspective, right? So you’re coming away as a parent and yeah, just had a heated lacrosse game and maybe there’s some good moments and some tough moments. Hey, I want to double down on this. It can just end up being conflictual in a lot of ways. And so I think over the course of time is like the greatest thing as a parent to say when you’ve watched your kid play is literally that. I love to watch you play.
Literally, I love to do this. I’m sure, how many ever years from now, I doubt you’d be going to too many lacrosse games there in Orange County when your son is not playing, right? You’re out there just because you love the support. The school is here to watch your son, right? That hot day in September at the bounce house when you are watching Will play, hey, it did not turn out well for the Tar Heels, but guess what? I tell you right now, I loved watching him play. I was thrilled.
Case Thorp
That’s right. And I’ll probably never be at another UCF football game if it weren’t for y’all.
Tim Hardy
There you go. Right. So I guess my point is, I say in those things is those moments, which for coaches are high leverage, they’re also high leverage for parents. And that subtle things done properly can say, Hey, I value more than just your performance. A few years ago, we always take our team to a team camp. And one of the best things we do is they leave their cell phones at Greater Atlanta Christian. We go away for three days with no contact to the outside world. All right. And it’s awesome. And so these guys talk to each other and play games and make up songs. It’s just like, people being people. But we spent some purposeful time spiritually resetting at the beginning of the year and it is pretty powerful. And one year, there’s just a really strong theme about young men and their approval from their dads. And we’ve got guys crying by a campfire in the middle of nowhere Georgia because I feel like, man I’ve got to perform or my dad doesn’t love me and all that kind of stuff. I came back and shared that with the fathers and so they had some context to that but there’s even some subtle things. Some of these dads are great men, you know what I mean, like they’re people that are deeply faithful but just like, hey if I only celebrate with them on the good days as opposed to tough days what is that communicating? So I think for us as we’re in and around sports we’re trying to live that out and whatever that looks like and there’s a great ways that we can form spiritually.
Case Thorp
If you would, I wanna talk about travel teams. Because I am increasingly vocal against families just indebting themselves and taking up any extra time with traveling. A buddy of mine who was on the lacrosse team said, the drive to the game, the drive should be no longer than the game. And because Brooks is so good at lacrosse, he gets recruited to other teams around central Florida and invited to such things and I’ve always gone to his coaches, please do not promote a travel team for Brooks because he’s good. We’re gonna do this. He’s gonna play in high school. I’m sure and that’s okay. You know, I’m not aiming for professional lacrosse career, a college scholarship would be great, but I’m not gonna destroy our family time together for this. Thankfully, it’s actually in those conversations I found out his two main coaches are Christians and they have said to me, Case, we agree. This should be a wonderful thing for him but not exhausting in his life. I look at other families in the church and they come back when their kids are in college and say, I don’t understand why my child is not seeking the Lord. And I kind of think to myself, well, you were at so many soccer games and not in worship, the proof is in the pudding. So, give me some perspective on travel ball today.
Tim Hardy
Yeah, I think maybe I would start with this. It’s a little bit like. Are you using sport or is sport using you? And what are you? What are you using it for? What’s the outcome?
So I think any time blanket statement could be whatever it is. I mean, you have a highly gifted individual who has the ability to do this. Man, let’s go be a part of some of these things. But what does that look like? How does that play out for us? And so let’s say it’s a sport like lacrosse, which does have a high travel component to it. There’s also this. I mean, if you’re going to be a recruited lacrosse player, there’s a window of time in the month of June, primarily a little bit in July, where you probably need to be in a couple of these tournaments if you want to do that.
Case Thorp
And I’m okay with that.
Tim Hardy
Exactly right. So we’re saying that. But there’s also a bunch of B-level things that happen throughout the year. And I could be on a team that practices Sunday at 11 a.m. somewhere and blah, blah. It’s totally different, right? But what are we doing? It’s the old sort of analogy that we’ve probably seen a bunch of times in a youth group or a sermon with you got a glass jar and you got the big rocks and the little rocks in the sand, right? And how’s this going to fit? Well, the only way it works is if you put the big rocks in there first. And so as a family, you said this is what matters. This is where it fits and this is what it looks like. The other thing too is just the what should be seasonal nature of that. And I’ll just use lacrosse as an example. So lacrosse is a spring high school sport and there’s…
Case Thorp
And it could go all year long if you let it.
Tim Hardy
There you go. And so you get caught up in it. What are those things and what does that look like and how do we get consumed with that? Okay. And I really think at the parent level, honestly, there’s a faith component into trusting like, I want to do what I’m supposed to do for my child, but now I’m going to trust the Lord’s got a great plan for him. I’m not going to get caught up in the compare and despair game with these different kinds of things. I had a conversation with a family friend two or three years ago, and this was a legitimate conversation. He’s a sharp, gainfully employed, great person, but this moment he goes, I’m just so worried if my son doesn’t make the baseball the All-Star team then he’s not gonna be on the good team next year. They’re just gonna fall behind, they probably won’t make the team in eighth grade. He won’t be on the high school team, he’ll be done with baseball and I was like, wait a second you’re talking about the second grade summer like all-star team. He literally went from here to farther than you and I can see and I sort of called him out I’m like, you’re insane.
Case Thorp
Good night.
Tim Hardy
So first of all there’s a thing that’s going to level the deck in eighth grade for everybody, right? But second of all, it’s like that’s not where it is. And so I do think sports because again, let me go back to parents, you know, can’t control it. Feel the strong pull for the compare and despair, keep up with the Joneses, do what other people are doing. But I really think, and again, you’ve got to be knowledgeable in what you’re doing, but there’s an element of like, Lord, I trust you. I trust you with my child’s future. I trust you with his heart. I trust you in that. At the same time, you can’t say, hey, we’re just going to pray and trust him. I’m not going to take him to batting lessons. He wants to be a good baseball player until he’s done. Well, you’ve got to do that too. But I think just balancing that. I’d go back to that is, are we using sport or is sport using us?
There’s great opportunity to play at a high level, to use it, to do those things, but just even keeping that in perspective and understanding what it’s about.
Case Thorp
This is good stuff. Well, in closing, I’d love to hear a little bit about your personal walk. I mean, you don’t always win, for sure, and you can get exhausted, misunderstood. What are some of the things that sustain you when life is not so great?
Tim Hardy
Yeah, that’s great. I appreciate you asking that. Yeah, I think there’s a nature in the coaching realm that you can’t help but be connected to the public performance, right? And so to push back on, I did a great job this week because the scoreboard says 28-24 and I did a bad job this week, it says 24-28, right? And get tied in that. And so I think part of coaches being able to coach from a position of health for their own players is doing that. One of the things I literally pray with our team after every Friday night game, it actually goes back to the, I guess it’s a Matt Redmond song in 2000, year or so, Blessed Be the Name, I don’t know if you remember. And it’s a great one.
Case Thorp
Dude, that’s a good one for us old fogies.
Tim Hardy
I I literally pray, basically a line from that is like, Lord, we praise you when all the sun is shining as it should be and everything is lined up and we praise you in the dark and desert place. And the desert place in that is, we lost the game, right? But Lord, we praise your name either way. The thing is, you be consistent as we’re gonna praise your name. And so we’re thankful for that. So literally me speaking that out, sometimes we say things to ourselves and we say them publicly and then we have to live those things out, is that, on a personal level for me, I’m a morning person in the town.
And so every morning, sort of my quiet time with the Lord, prayer, scripture, and then I like to get a workout in the morning. It just sort of sets my day right. And then, you know, as you said, I’m incredibly privileged to be married to Lindsay, who’s just such an incredible person, so committed in her faith and so committed to, you know, as a mom to pray for and love our kids well. But I think trying to separate who we are, and what we do as professionals is a really, really important piece for us.
Case Thorp
Yeah, sure.
Tim, thank you. I’m so encouraged just by this conversation, but also knowing all the hundreds of youth that will benefit from your ministry for sure. Thanks for being with me.
Tim Hardy
Well, thank you. It was a privilege. Thank you.
Case Thorp
Well, for those listening, you will find a link to the Greater Atlanta Christian School and its athletic program in our show notes. And I’ll also put some in there to learn more about Tim Elmore and his writings. If this episode resonated with you or maybe a coach you know, a parent of a child or a former teammate, share it with them. Also, if you’ll leave us a review, it’ll help others find this show. If you go to our website, wecolabor.com, give us your email and we’ll send you a copy of Zeitgeist, our journal on faith, work, and culture. My thanks to the Canaparo family for supporting today’s episode. I’m Case Thorp, and God’s blessings on you.
